If you know me well (or have been in my car), you know that I’m a messy person.
Disclaimer: Messy is NOT the same as dirty. Dirty is filth, not showering, grime, bugs, MOLD, must I go on? I am definitely not dirty. Messy is disarray, unorganized. (There’s an interview with Adam Levine where he says the same thing and that’s why he’s my lover).
But I really do try, sometimes. I like to think of it as organized mess. I know where things are when I need them, and I think that’s all that matters right?
I think I’m a weird mix of IDGAF, I’m messy, deal with it, and neat-freak. OK let me explain before you die laughing cos I put me and neat-freak together in a sentence… When I clean, I super zone in on something. I guess you an call it cleaning tunnel vision.
For example: If I clean start cleaning my desk at work, I have to avoid cleaning the keyboard first. Cos if I do, then… I’m gone! It’s not a simple wipedown, I need to get the compressed air, turn the thing upside down, wipe all the keys, undo a paperclip to get the crevices, and even run a Clorox wipe in between the keys with the paperclip. It’s a process.
I’ll be cleaning the top of my dresser cos my makeup & jewelry is strewn about, but instead of making sure everything is right-side-up and where it belongs, I need to get down to the nitty gritty and redo EVERYTHING. All of a sudden, I need to reorganize allll my jewelry and make up. 3 hours later, my room still looks exactly as it was, messy except with a well organized dresser.
I need to try to stop doing that and worry about the bigger picture. I even googled ‘how to clean you room’ for tips! It also doesn’t help that I am oversentimental and keep EVERYTHING. I don’t want to throw/give anything away! Either it has a meaning, or a memory, or I just want to hold on to it. I can’t help it, I think hoarding runs on my mom’s side.
I’ve always tried being neat but it just never lasts very long. I’m starting to wonder if I’m not trying hard enough to maintain it or I’m just inherently messy. However I don’t know how to say inherently in chinese to my mom and I doubt she’ll accept that as answer.